attack of the asian burgers!

There are those who would say Las Vegas has no signature food item to call its own, nothing to compare to the Philly cheesesteak, the Chicago dog, the slice of New York pizza, etc. (Nevermind the fact that we have all of those.) To those doubters I offer this: the gourmet burger is all Vegas, baby. Sure, it may not have been invented here, but that doesn't matter. We've got the greatest burgers from across the country, from California's In-N-Out to Illinois' Steak 'n Shake, and that's just the beginning. Almost every hotel-casino on the Strip has its very own upscale burger joint, from Hubert Keller's Burger Bar to Kerry Simon's KGB at Harrah's. Americans never seem to get sick of eating burgers, and Vegas is the most American city you could ever hope to visit. So take that.

But ... I do get sick of eating burgers. I didn't even want to try all the new cowdisc emporiums popping up all over the place. In fact, I was completely burger'd out, until something magical happened ... something Asian happened ... something new was born. The first time I tried an Asian-flavored burger, it was disappointing. The attempt: combine a Vietnamese banh mi sandwich with a hamburger. The flavors were muddled and messy, and it didn't come close to working.

Then I tried Bachi Burger, and despite the previous banh mi letdown, I took a risk and ordered this version from a very interesting menu. Despite a lot of positive buzz about this small-but-hip neighborhood restaurant, I wasn't expecting much. But I was blown away by the flavor explosion of Bachi's banh mi burger, a super-meaty patty of beef, pork and shrimp with a sweet-and-sour tang. The bun is slightly sweet, those necessary pickled veggies and fresh jalapenos are served on the side so you can add as much as you need, and there's even a slice of porky pate to bring some extra authenticity. It's beyond juicy, and really represents the flavors of this Vietnamese standby without sacrificing beefy goodness. And Bachi's menu is full of other Asian-inspired burgers, like the Ronin, which has a fried egg, Japanese coleslaw and miso sauce.

With these awesome new options, I was back to loving burgers, as long as they were Asian. So it was okay, again, to go to some new, fancy, Strip casino's burger place, like Holsteins in the Cosmopolitan, as long as I could order something awesome like the Rising Sun: teriyaki-glazed Kobe beef with threads of fried yam, furikake, spicy mayo and tempura avocado. Holsteins also appears to have mastered the subtle art of infusing Asian flavors into our iconic American sandwich without fucking up what we love most in a burger -- big beef in every bite.

But this blog entry is a PUNCH OFF! and you know what that means ... there was to be a winner. There has to be a king crowned in this Vegas Asian burger battle, and I don't think it gets any better than Fukuburger. Now, keep in mind that when you're eating from a food truck, you can't let hipness be a factor. It's fun to order from a truck, hang with the homies in the parking lot and eat outside, but none of that stuff changes the fact that Fukuburgers are delicious. The number one, standard Fuku is a good starting spot for this menu, with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickled ginger, American cheese and special sauce. The ginger, contrasting nicely with the miso and other flavors in the beef, throws everything into another world of flavor. I also deeply love Fuku's version of loco moco, that Hawaiian gutbuster of a burger over rice with a savory brown gravy. But definitely do not miss the Tamago burger (pictured), with a perfect, oozy fried egg, crispy onions, a little teriyaki and a little furikake with the special sauce. The egg brings a potent richness, and the combination really brings out the fact that Fuku cooks their meat perfectly. It's juicy with a great burn on the outside and pink on the inside, exactly the way a burger is meant to be. That's why these guys are one of the top food trucks in the burgeoning Vegas scene. But wheels or no, Fukuburgers can go head-to-head with the best in the city.

in case you haven't heard, the cosmopolitan is cool.

On Level 3 of The Cosmopolitan, just past the unbelievable presence of a go-ahead-and-play billiards table, hanging on the wall near the Blue Ribbon restaurant, there are some nifty Rat Pack portraits, flashbacks of Frank, Dean and Sammy hanging with pretty girls and being cool. I was looking at them and I wondered: Is The Cosmopolitan the kinda place these guys would hang at? I'm sure these pictures are here to make me think the answer is "yes," to make me believe the last, latest Strip casino-hotel truly does contain the right amount of wrong, to make me imagine the Chairman would be happy to meet for a cocktail in the Vesper Bar just off the lobby. A lot of money has been spent to construct a thick layer of cool around this place, and I don't know how I feel about that, and I don't know if the Rat Pack would have kicked it here. I've never been very cool, but it doesn't take a cool person to recognize when someone or something is trying too hard. The people who assemble and tweak the concept of The Cosmopolitan, under unimaginable, unrealistic pressure to succeed, are trying very hard to make it cool.

And that's why it's so impressive that they seem to be succeeding.

Cool is in the details. It's in the crazy, mind-altering video columns in the lobby, ever-changing installations that make you feel like you stepped into a futuristic movie. It's in the subterranean parking garage, where murals by rebel artists like Shinique Smith, Shepard Fairey and Kenny Scharf confuse regular people who don't use valet. It's in those pool tables and ping pong tables and foosball tables and flatscreens up on Level 4, which is the most laidback casino swimming pool I've ever seen and the only spot with Strip-front cabanas. And cool is definitely in that not-so-secret pizza joint on glorious Level 3, squished between Blue Ribbon and Jaleo, with no signs pointing you in and no signs telling you where or how to order a slice. And damn, it is a tasty slice. From where do these guys order their pepperoni? It's spicy and garlicky and wonderful, and I was trying so hard not to buy into the hype of a hidden New York-style pizza den in a fancy casino. But it tastes so good.

I already wrote about it, but allow me to distill the message here: The Cosmopolitan had to go out on a limb, had to be different in order to survive. It is aiming for a specific audience, one other Vegas venues are targeting, and a big, big part of capturing this audience is crazy good food. The restaurant experience is the new Vegas entertainment, and that means making food and service and atmosphere something visitors are going to rave about on the plane or car ride home. While I have only sampled the most accessible, most casual Cosmo eateries (so far), it's safe to say this place is doing just that: providing delicious in a very cool way.

Among the munchies on Level 2 are Holsteins, a burger joint created by the company behind LBS in the Red Rock Resort, and China Poblano, an eclectic Chinese-Mexican concept from the famed José Andrés. At Holsteins I ate duck fat fries and blue cheese kettle potato chips, an outstanding Japanese-themed burger, and sampled a housemade mini-sausage -- longanisa on white bread with borracho beans, cheese and fried pork skin sprinklings. The flavors were impressive, and it is difficult for a burger joint to stand out among its brethren on the Strip. Holsteins seems like it will. At China Poblano ... I ate everything. I couldn't stop eating everything. Tacos of freshly made tortillas stuffed with carnitas, then spicier barbecued pork, then perfectly sweet lobster, then beef tendon with oyster. A deep, rich, red posole with chunks of fatty, tender pork and avocado and chicharrones to drop on top. Another great soup, called Ten Treasure, with shrimp, bok choy, tofu and more in a clean, light broth. A tiny braised pork gordita, rich and corny and properly greasy. Savory, crispy lamb potstickers. I know this is making you hungry for Chinese and Mexican food at the same time, and now you can get it, on the Las Vegas Strip.

Of course, more exploration will come. We must try Andrés' tapas and paella haven, Jaleo. We must try both of Scott Conant's spots, Scarpetta and DOCG. We must eat French at Comme Ça and sushi at Blue Ribbon, and eventually we will make it to the priciest and probably least accessible restaurant here, Estiatorio Milos. And in between, there likely will be many more slices of secret pizza. When it comes to food, cool shouldn't be much of a factor. But it is. It's tough not to get caught up in the cool of The Cosmopolitan, but it's easy to appreciate how tasty it is.