texas de brazil.

A birthday dinner for Chi at Texas de Brazil was my first experience at a Brazilian steakhouse-churrascaria-rodizio pit, despite the fact that Yolie's on Paradise Road has been doing it in Vegas for years and similar restaurants have popped up recently on the Strip and in the 'burbs. Somehow it didn't sound all that appealing: loads of grilled meat piled on your plate as you fight to keep up. More specifically, I was worried that in Vegas, this concept would assdrop into a glorified buffet, with quality falling behind on the priority list. But, Chi said this shit was good, so off we went to Town Square just south of the Strip.

Texas de Brazil has locations in eight states, but the decor and service of this restaurant doesn't scream franchise. It was much more finely appointed than I assumed; I guess I just thought it'd be a warehouse with giant tables and guys running around with great slabs of beef to distribute. Not really like that. It's warm, appropriately communal, a little loud/rowdy, but it fits. And the service was very good, particularly from our guy who offered sound advice on ordering a mid-range Malbec to wash down these meats.

The salad bar offered a colorful array of vegetables in various preparations, cheeses, grains, lobster bisque, smoked salmon squares and other little tasties. In fact, everything was good enough to take up more plate space than salad should. But I had barely started and not had a sip of wine before those meats started coming, carried on huge skewers fresh from the pit and carved by dudes in funny pants. Filet mignon. Garlic sirloin. Parmesan-crusted pork loin and chicken legs. Chicken wrapped in bacon. Brazilian sausages, whatever those are. Lamb chops. Leg of lamb (which will now forever be known as Dinosaur Leg). More beef. Lots of beef.

The best bits were the sirloin and the Dinosaur Leg. A huge chunk of slow roasted meat on a fuckin' sword allows for you to get a perfectly tender, rare chunk alongside a crispy-grilled piece from the outside of the beast all in one serving. It's a good way to be.

It's hard to believe there might be a churrascaria in Vegas better than this, but after allowing a few months to go by for proper digestion, we'll see for ourselves.

balboa pizza company.

Update: Pie Town Pizza has closed.

The best pizza in Las Vegas is actually in Henderson.

Though the Review-Journal's annual readers' poll typically results in a Vegas mainstay like Metro Pizza getting the honors, Settebello is the obvious choice. But it's not the only great pie in the city of Henderson. While I tend to believe Henderson is a little behind some of our other suburban communities when it comes to great food in the neighborhood, Vegas pizzerias have some catching up to do. Grimaldi's on Eastern is great. Pie Town on Green Valley Parkway allegedly has the best Chicago deep dish around. And while it's hard not to hit Settebello if you're in the vicinity of The District at Green Valley Ranch, it has another completely respectable joint in Balboa Pizza Company.

The District, that walking-and-shopping destination connected to the Green Valley Ranch Resort, seems to be dying with the rest of the retail world. That's not good news for the mostly franchised restaurant options here, and Balboa always has been kinda sleepy. But it does boast an easygoing surf shack vibe, a small but comfortable patio and an adequate bar. Most everything on the newspaper-print menu is tasty. Pizza here is thin crust and individually sized, but one pizza is the perfect size for sharing, especially if you're augmenting your meal with some of the best chicken wings in town: Big, meaty, slightly crispy on the outside and available in some fun flavors like Thai Peanut and Hawaiian BBQ. Pizza toppings are pretty standard but also reflect some California Cuisine weirdness -- barbecue chicken, roasted vegetables, etc. The Tostada pizza has ground beef and sausage, pico de gallo, refried beans, guacamole and cilantro. There's also the Wedge pizza, more or less a calzone.

In simple straight-up pizza comparisons, Balboa's reminds me a lot of the thin crust from Rosati's Pizza, an Illinois-based franchise that has taken hold in Vegas over the last year and was the staff pick in the previously mentioned Best of Las Vegas poll in 2009. Crust is important, and it seems more and more local pizzerias are discovering that crispy/chewy balance.

the mirage.

"The Mirage was the first of its kind in Las Vegas and heralded the era of megaresorts along the Strip. Its November 1989 opening preceded the early nineties building boom and, with its $630 million price tag, it was the most expensive hotel/casino in the world."

This blurb comes from the Las Vegas Sun's history web site, which has a super awesome hotel-casino map that traces the changes across the valley through the years. The Mirage is particularly relevant today, for a number of reasons. It is celebrating 20 years on the Strip, and it is rumored to be the next MGM-Mirage property that could be sold, following TI's movement to Phil Ruffin.

But that stuff doesn't matter much for our purposes. Here at MenuVegas, the measure of a hotel-casino is a simple series of questions: Is it awesome? Where can we eat? Where can we drink? Can we get happily lost and sloshed in here? And, is it awesome? If you check out that cool Sun map, it's easy to measure the resorts of the Mirage generation: Rio, Excalibur, Luxor, New York-New York, Monte Carlo, MGM Grand, Treasure Island, Hard Rock, Stratosphere, to name most. (Bellagio and Mandalay Bay opened in '98 and '99, respectively.) Out of these, the only ones that come close to providing similar top-flight amenities today are MGM Grand and Hard Rock, which opened four and six years after Mirage, respectively.

If this is confusing, here's the point: the Mirage today is better than the resorts of its generation. I don't know if I'd go so far as to say it's enjoying a resurgence right now -- that's an unacceptably positive label in Vegas today -- but it deserves one. It remains a beautiful property with plenty to do, 20 years later. Gone are Siegfried, Roy and Danny Gans. In their place are this Terry Fator guy and the popular Beatles-Cirque mashup Love. The buffet, Cravings, is probably the best in town, pound-for-pound, because the food is great and the design is very anti-buffet. I actually don't mind eating here, and I hate buffets. Other restaurant highlights include BLT Burger, Chicago/NYC transplant Japonais, cute wine bar Onda, high profile Chinese at Fin and fun steak and snacks at Stack. In addition to reputedly delicious fare, Stack and Fin are among the most strikingly designed dining rooms on the Strip. The Light Group nightclub JET is still top 5, and the brand new Rhumbar boozehole is surprisingly cool and dedicated to classic cocktail creation. The casino layout is comfortable enough, with lingering touches of the tropical theme that made its first impressions so long ago. The western portion of the casino, which winds around the theater, spa, and quaint Revolution Lounge, is modern and relaxing. The Bare dayclub provides the only topless pool experience that doesn't charge admission, last time I checked.

When Ruffin took over the TI he said he wasn't going to change anything. As nice as the Mirage is today, I would think any potential buyer would maintain that philosophy. It wants for nothing.

weiss deli.

When dining in one of those old-school delicatessens where they name sandwiches after people, my strategy is to go with the sandwich with the coolest name. Thus, my first visit to Weiss Deli, the 3-year-old family-operated joint at Sunset and Green Valley Parkway in Henderson, was highlighted by this gargantuan named Sol Rubin. Brisket, tongue, kosher salami, coleslaw and horseradish sauce. Wow.

Triple deckered on rye with potato salad, this meat skyscraper was so stuffed that after my first slab was gone, I had to deconstruct the next piece to individually sample each animal. The brisket was best, slightly fatty and complemented wonderfully by the creamy horseradish. The salami was the next layer, and it's kosher so think more bologna-ish than the oily Italian salami you're used to. Tasty, though. The tongue was crazy but good: salty, chewy, odd. A tongue and coleslaw sandwich might be fine by itself. Upon further review of the menu, I wish I'd ordered Ceily's Stack, two latkes stuffed with brisket topped with cheese and brown sauce. Damn.

I did manage to fit in a bowl of chicken noodle matzoh ball soup. It was full of tiny noodles, carrots, celery and maybe the biggest matzoh these gentile eyes have seen. Very satisfying, but overall not beating out the west side's Bagel Cafe for my favorite chicken soup. Just not as much flavor, and not as much chicken.

I should be ashamed of myself for not trying Weiss Deli until now. It's been on the list forever. It's also on a stretch of Sunset that contains some other great eating destinations: Layers bakery, Todd's Unique Dining, Bangkok Orchid (Thai) and the Olive (Mediterranean). This is not a newer section of Green Valley/Henderson, but it's pretty strong. Weiss, a small, kinda plain but friendly dining room with ten booths and a half-dozen tables, also serves homemade bagels, hashes, more breakfast (the Kosher Nostra omelet has salami, bologna, onions, tomatoes and muenster), burgers, salads and tons of other sandwiches.

indian curry bowl.

Please, please let things pick up just a bit. The Centennial Gateway retail center at the corner of West Ann Road and U.S. Highway 95 must thrive, because this tiny, delicious restaurant in the middle of a lonely parking lot cannot be allowed to close up shop. Indian Curry Bowl must live!

A big 24-Hour Fitness just opened here, but a Sportsman's Warehouse just closed. There is a Cafe Rio Mexican fast-food spot and a tanning salon, and a Fresh & Easy waiting to open. But everything else is empty in this center, save for the ICB. It's maybe a few weeks old and we've already been twice, and the food keeps getting better. Lamb samosas are my new favorite snack. Curries are complex and delicious, made mild but spiced up at your request. Chicken tikka and lamb vindaloo with potatoes are great, but the favorite dish so far is paneer masala tikka, grilled paneer cheese in a slow-simmered sauce of onion, garlic, ginger, and too many other spices to bother yourself with. Just good. And with freshly made naan bread, especially the potato-filled aloo kulcha, you will be too stuffed to believe this is one of the most healthy meals around. If we have to, we are willing to keep this place in business until the recession relents. Whatever it takes.

Other delicious things consumed yesterday:
Albondigas soup from Frank & Fina's Cocina.
Lime pie from Cafe Deia.
Chili and cheese fondue covered potato chips ("Potato Twister") at LBS in Red Rock.
Cucumber gimlet with Hendricks gin at T-Bones bar in Red Rock.

casa don juan.

The first time I went to Casa Don Juan, it was for a job interview lunch years ago. It was with the Las Vegas Convention and Visitor Authority and I had chile verde. It was good. That would have been a pretty funny job for me, huh?

The second time, it was meeting up with new girlfriend and her friends during a First Friday arts event, and it was a bit nerve-wracking but there were giant margaritas. Those were good, too.

But I was never really impressed with the food at this downtown cocina until I had an early dinner there last night. The chips were especially crunchy and corny, and the salsas, though a bit thin for me, were fresh and zingy. I ordered a rice-and-beans plate with a fully-packed shredded beef enchilada, a crisp beef taco and a hearty relleno. Everything was better than just good. The relleno, in particular, was interesting. The "crust" on the pepper was soft, spongy and warm, kind of like an omelet instead of some fried disaster, and it tasted of eggs but not in a breakfasty way. It was light and satisfying at the same time.

I will gladly take Casa Don Juan as my downtown Mexican restaurant of choice, ahead of the perfectly fine Dona Maria Tamales and the quaint but overrated El Sombrero Cafe.

mrkt.

As Aliante Station is the "little sister" in the Station Casinos family, more compact and less luxurious than Summerlin's Red Rock Resort, so MRKT will be the lesser known and appreciated sibling in Station's steakhouse roster. And this is not a surprise.

The decor in MRKT is stylish and sophisticated, with its oval glass bar, subtle colors and 5,000-bottle wine list. The service is just fine. The meat is just fine. But the menu and overall experience is missing the small touches that make a meal memorable and force you to come back. You can find those touches at Red Rock's T-Bones steakhouse, and I've had great experiences, if somewhat surprising, at Santa Fe Station's Charcoal Room. But it's just not meant to be at MRKT, the epitome of good-not-great. Where's the soul in this food? Drop the price on your $37 porterhouse, I say, and you may have a winner.

The two bar-top meals we've had here were good. Not great. The jumbo crab cake was pretty jumbo and full of meat, but under-seasoned and without any oomph. Butternut squash soup is terrific and served in a rather large bowl. Spinach salad with pancetta is a little overpowered by sharp dressing, and not as good as the chopped salad, that new steakhouse staple. The side dishes here are flat out boring and I don't want to order any of them. Bone-in New York, ribeye and grilled salmon, all okay. Everything here tastes good enough to tease. Maybe I'll go back to the Charcoal Room after all.

fooled by mgm grand. west wing = boo.

The MGM Grand website describes its West Wing rooms as "sleek," "stylish" and "modern." It reminds you there's a Bose radio in here. I'll describe my West Wing room as "tiny," feeling like a "space-age coffin," and equipped with a "broken telephone." And I'd like to remind you there's no fucking bathtub in here.

That's not to say that a weekend at the MGM was a total wash, or that a stay in the West Wing was uncomfortable. But in the pantheon of recently remodeled, modernized hotel rooms on the Strip, these are particularly unimpressive, especially since the rates for this weekend were about the same for a room in the Grand Tower of the same resort. The high points were the big robo-shower, a cozy bed and quick access to Las Vegas Boulevard without having to tromp through the entire casino (particularly important since we were back-and-forthing it to the Monte Carlo for two days). A room service order of bacon cheeseburger and Asian chicken salad at 3 a.m. was delicious but not easy to fully enjoy without enough space to afford the rolling food cart. Another low point was walking into the room for the first time and being greeted by the toilet before all else. "Design rules," says the website. Ha.

The West Wing bar (pictured) should have been a cool urban haven between the walkabouts, but in the daytime, thanks to the red glass doors that lead from here to the ultra-tacky Grand Canyon Experience mega-gift shop next door, this bar is where tired fat people go to die. The sandals-with-socks crowd, no doubt exhausted from Strip walking, sneak in here to find comfy couches and it's all over. Needless to say, this is not what you want to see when you come off the elevator, on the way to dinner, looking for a nice hip drinkhole. Fix this, MGM. All it takes is a big broom.

Elsewhere on the property, margaritas, taquitos, salsas and queso fundido are top-flight at Diego, the pink and somewhat forgotten restaurant at the back of the Studio Walk. Even better is the fried egg, bacon and bleu cheese sandwich at Wichcraft, one of the best hangover meals ever consumed. And the pool -- or more appropriately, collection of pools littered with spiked Slurpee distribution centers -- should get a good grade as well, even though there weren't enough spaces to lounge on Sunday. Despite this being the opening weekend for dayclub Wet Republic, the douchebaggery was minimal. With that egg sandwich in your guts, perfect spring sunshine on your body, and an orange frozen mess tasting of rum and mint in your hand, you really can't complain. The MGM has plenty to offer, but next time I'm sampling I'll get a suite.

it's not on fire.

Got a wedding coming up this weekend, and the out-of-towners have chosen the Monte Carlo as their headquarters. Room rates being what they are, it's a solid choice: mid-level resorts like this one, New York-New York, Luxor and TI are among the top Vegas bargains right now, offering up all-inclusive amenities, plenty of dining and drinking options, and proximity to other Strip action for a fraction of the cost seen in '08 or '07.

The Monte Carlo, currently operated by MGM Mirage, opened in 1996 and despite a vague European theme is better known as the home of cheesy magician Lance Burton and Vegas' longtime resident fancy French chef, Andre Rochat. (Now that his original downtown restaurant has closed, Rochat has Andre's here and Alize at the Palms.) In the last couple years, as nightclub operations like Pure Management Group and Light Group took over the Strip, the Monte Carlo has been touched up with more modern venues such as Brand Steakhouse and Diablo's Cantina, both operated by Light. And of course, the top floor of the hotel famously caught on fire in early '08.

Upon my post college return to Vegas, UNLV buddies introduced me to the Monte Carlo Brew Pub, which has always been a somewhat unexplainable draw for locals. The draft beer selection is fine, sandwiches and pizzas are okay, it's quiet when it needs to be and it hosts live bands most nights. If I'm making this place sound mediocre, you're welcome. Mediocrity is pretty much the theme here. The most exciting thing going on at the Monte Carlo is lunchtime at the food court, and that has nothing to do with the new selection of tacos at Rubio's. CityCenter looms next door, so all day long you can catch construction workers moving in and out on their breaks. As a 10-plus year-old hotel-casino, Monte Carlo is somewhat forgotten in the shadows of bigger and better, and it will be interesting (to me) to see what becomes of it when (ever) CityCenter opens.

Overall, skip it. As far as I can tell, the hotel rooms haven't been renovated as recently as ones at TI or Luxor. The sleek bar at Brand looks like a place I'd like to have a drink, so I think I will. Other than that, eh. I'm staying across the street this weekend.

jc wooloughan's irish pub.

Sometimes you just want a pint, maybe a whiskey, and some greasy bar food. And you want to consume them in a dark place made of wood, with a real bar, a place kinda stinky and maybe too loud. Sadly, as it is with all things authentic, most of the time in Vegas you have to find a fabrication of a joint like this instead of the real thing (unless you want to hit up Crown & Anchor). The closest fake Irish pub to my house is J.C. Wooloughan's, inside the JW Marriott resort just off Summerlin Parkway and Rampart.

Sometimes I get a craving to hit this place up, and usually I'm slightly disappointed. I think it's the fake part. It's always close, but not quite there. But the beer is never disappointing. We started off with a couple of fake Black Velvets, Guinness and cider instead of champagne, and moved on to the ultra smooth Snakebite, Harp and cider. With this one, you can easily and accidentally drink four or five.

I really wanted to walk out of here with the confidence to say they serve the best fish and chips in Vegas, but it just didn't happen. The deep fried pickles and potato skins we happily munched were delicious, but I remember the fish and chips being better. Perhaps the last time I ordered the dish was after many more drinks. That'd do it. But it's okay because there is better food to be had at Wooloughan's, including corned beef in sandwich form or with cabbage, a tasty version of shepherd's pie, solid burgers and fine Irish breakfasts. The menu is known as one of the more authentic in town, but to me this always will be a place for boozing on all things Irish, from car bombs to coffees, and other less foo-foo beverages as well.